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the edge of my sanity

Posted by summer storms on April 7, 2009 at 6:42 PM
my days run one into the other
like the flow of a desert flash flood
in a perpetual monsoon season,
desperately trying to stay afloat
amidst the white water swirling
'round life's insurmountable boulders,
the balance hanging precariously close
to the edge of my sanity,
one small tip of the scale
will send me down, down, down.....
down into the pit of complete despair -
yet these written words flung at me from all directions,
and the ones that tumble from my mind
have become the lifejacket I forgot to put on,
the only means I have of keeping myself sane
as I let go of what I was taught was supposed
to keep me safe, keep me free
but instead has done nothing but hold me down -
the shackles of unrealistic expectations for
a free bird soul like mine
that only wants to soar among the clouds
instead of staying tethered to the ground,
soaked by the continual torrential downpour
of the dissatisfaction of unfulfilled dreams

Categories: Summer Storms

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6 Comments

Reply Missy (AKA MRS. Wordmachinist)
1:41 AM on April 11, 2009 
I've been to that edge...it is a frightening place to be. Excellent write....soul searching and honest.
Reply x
11:34 PM on April 8, 2009 
I've been there. It took me two years.

Be patient with yourself. it's the best thing you can do. :)
Reply summer storms
5:41 AM on April 8, 2009 
Thank you, Conundrumess (love the name!)... this is not a good place to be, and it is up to me to move away from the edge to some place saner - and safer. Sometimes (like right now), it's harder to find the strength to break the chains forged a long time ago that hold one in an unhealthy place... we'll get there. :)
Reply x
10:30 PM on April 7, 2009 
"I have of keeping myself sane
as I let go of what I was taught was supposed
to keep me safe, keep me free
but instead has done nothing but hold me down -
the shackles of unrealistic expectations for
a free bird soul like mine
that only wants to soar among the clouds
instead of staying tethered to the ground,
soaked by the continual torrential downpour
of the dissatisfaction of unfulfilled dreams"

I am with ya sister. I understand where you are coming from.
Beautiful.
Reply summer storms
8:07 PM on April 7, 2009 
It is... thank you, Lady Morrigan
Reply Lady Morrigan
6:47 PM on April 7, 2009 
Sad really, good write:)